Luteal phase / inner autumn

Including notes on the first half of the luteal phase (post ovulation) and menstruality concepts surrounding cycle days 21-33.

Premenstrual or luteal phase is named after "corpus luteum", lat. for yellow body, the remains of an unfertilised egg. It's the yellow body that releases progesterone, the dominant hormone of this phase of the cycle, responsible for its moody and introspective vibes.

Luteal phase is associated with the season of autumn and decaying of plants in the natural world. There's a loss of sunlight and with it, energy and productivity, much like when the afternoon turns into evening. The moon moved pass its fullness and has reached its waning stage. In pregnancy, this would be the third and last trimester. In Chinese medicine, luteal phase is connected to the element of metal, which shares the reflective quality of this inner season. The corresponding emotions are grief and sadness, which make sense in the context of things coming to an end. Its archetype is the wild woman, representing our instinctual self. In the span of life, this is a phase of maturity.

CD 21: Introversion

Sometime after ovulation you may notice your energy shifting inwards. That shift towards introversion, quietness and inner focus can be subtle or intense, but it's always there. Best bet is to go with it instead of against it, and here's a paragraph from Period power (Maisie Hill) that highlights why:

"Autumn is where you can take a step back and assess your responsibilities towards others. You begin to step down as your energy turns inward. Far from being awful, this is in fact wonderful, because you are in the half of your cycle where your hormones will help you to truly prioritise your own needs and desires. But if you don’t manage to move with awareness, and you try to maintain the ‘go get ’em tiger’ feeling of Summer, then you’re likely to burn out quickly, and instead of this being a gradual process, it’ll be sudden and disastrous."

Do you notice and welcome this shift, or does it feel bothersome?

CD22: The inner editor

One of the superpowers of premenstrual phase is the inner editor mode. With the calming effects of progesterone rising, it's easier to sit still, focus and pay attention to details. This is an ideal time to edit projects, identify loopholes and keep an eye of the bigger picture of how everything fits together. I find the week post ovulation in general to be my most productive and goal oriented time of the cycle.

However if you currently find yourself without direction in life (which can happen easily to anyone!) this can be a tricky time for the inner editor. Without having anything to dive into, you can grow restless and dissatisfied, turning your brilliantly analytical brain to make up problems and take apart an area of your life that would be better left alone.

CD 23: High sensitivity

 If you ever experienced rage while someone was chewing, there's a high chance you were in your premenstrual phase - it's commonly observed that sensitivity peaks in this phase.

I tend to struggle with sensory overwhelm quite a lot and it particularly comes out in premenstruum, resulting in overwhelm and emotional meltdowns spanning rage to sadness and anxiety. The world can turn into one big nuisance - I won't drive in dark because flickering lights bother me too much, I avoid sitting next to people on their phones on subways because it shines in my face, I must pause videos on auto-play and sometimes cannot watch them on full screen, I get overwhelmed by more than two open tabs, I dislike my environment being out of order, tags on clothes bother me, everyone seems to chew loud, and on and on. I even noticed that I bump into things more often in premenstrual phase, as if sensory overwhelm makes me off balance!

But if I can avoid overwhelm and regulate my nervous system, high sensitivity is a great state to be in for deep work. I am easily drawn into my inner world, spend hours in deep focus, can pick up on subtle things people say, find mistakes easily, have many creative ideas and learn quickly.

An interesting thing I hear Maisie Hill say about high sensitivity in premenstrual phase is what if this is your baseline? What if the heightened sensitivity of this phase is your actually normal, otherwise masked by estrogen in other phases? If that's true what if we'd take precautions all the time, even when it doesn't feel that necessary - not driving at night, noise cancelling headphones on subway, mindful use of tech, boundaries, regular alone time or practices to unwind, or whatever your individual needs are? Perhaps the menstrual phase would be a more balanced and peaceful time then.

CD24: Self-doubt, criticism and overthinking

The perks of this season are having an active and analytical state of mind with an attention to detail - useful, but with the downside that it can lead to self-doubt, criticism and overthinking.

Criticism is said to be "the double edged sword, that can kill or awaken you". Overthinking, critical thoughts and exploring the doubts that come up, can be of value, if constructive and with clear boundaries. If something I have said and done starts feeling off, I *will* spend time thinking of why. But it's tricky not to go too far with it, judge ourselves harshly, take everything seriously and spend all of the mental energy ruminating on the past.

My general rule with overthinking is that once I start going on the same thought loop, I must take a break and "continue thinking about it" after a night of sleep, after which I will often forget about it 🤪.

CD 25: PMS

Hello PMS!👹A common experience for many of us, occurring about a week before the start of period as a result of fluctuating hormones. PMS, or premenstrual syndrome, has a wide variety of signs and symptoms, including mood swings, tender breasts (if so, coffee might be the blueprint), food cravings, fatigue, irritability and depression.
We're usually thought to push through, numb our bodily experience and keep up with the demands of the world, but by doing this we ignore our cyclical nature and useful information PMS has to offer.
I like to see it as a report card on the (im-)balance of my hormones and other various ailments in my body and life in general. PMS is a sign to slow down and listen inwards. Who was it that said the abbreviation should stand for Prioritise My Self? 💯

CD 26: Accessing the subconscious

In the premenstrual phase we tend to be more intuitive, introspective and connected to our self. The layer of subconsciousness is thinning, bringing forth unprocessed emotion and mindset shifts. For some, their dreaming can get vivid, crazy or insightful, as our subconscious mind processes what is happening in our lives. We can get very emotional and more willing to defend ourselves. This is the season to look at what's "behind the scenes" of our minds and receive insights about what needs to change too.

I also think it's good to recognise our eccentricities - maybe at this time certain interests or ideas pop up in your mind that aren't there all the time? These eccentricities lead us closer to our authentic self, so it's good thing to embrace them, at least for a season.

Ever noticed how your dreams change throughout the cycle?

CD 27: Nesting

End of cycle, just like end of pregnancy, often brings up the nesting instinct in us. That can involve gathering and preparing food, as well as cleaning, decluttering and generally finishing up our tasks to bleed (or birth) in peace 😌.
I always end up restocking my fridge, cleaning around, going through my wardrobe and dealing with boring bureaucracy, finishing up laundry and vacuuming in the days before my bleed 🤪. Do you nest too?

CD 28: The Hermit

The hermit is an archetype that is associated with solitude, but more than just isolation it's also combined with emotional processing, wisdom and a connection to the natural word. I often notice how I find it hard to show my face in public this far along in the cycle, even if it's just to walk down the street. An interesting thing I heard lately (by Masie Hill as always) how before period we crave to be at home and with our kin (for evolutionary reasons, to be protected while we bleed), which can lead to homesickness to those of us who live abroad (although I wouldn't want to visit relatives at this point haha)!

CD29: The Wild Woman

Premenstrual phase can often be plagued with various physical ailments and doubts about ourselves and our lives🥴. The main archetype of the premenstrual phase is the Wild Woman. Also known as the Medicine Woman or the Enchantress, it represents the inner healer that lives inside of us. Every month she offers us pains and challenges that we've been ignoring, for closer introspection. 👉Nutritional deficiencies, not enough rest, crossed boundaries expressed through anger and depletion, misaligned life choices, lack of joy, play or connection. While it's not particularly pretty to have all of these issues brought to life at the same time, we need this fire inside us to start making changes we need 🔥.

CD30: Waning moon
Waning moon as a person. Also a cycle day most likely to change into pyjama as soon as I come home 😉. Waning moon represents the turn inwards, when we seclude, take a break and regenerate.

CD 31: The Crone / Wise woman archetype

Another archetype found at the end of the cycle is the Crone / the Wise woman 🧙. This is the time of the cycle when the layer to your subconscious is thinning, making it easier to access your intuition. You can play with this archetype by asking your inner 80 year old self how to handle your current challenges 👵.
Funnily, with the levels of estrogen dropping, I also feel like I look older at this point. My skin is drier and my body feels a bit achy 😪. But I also often feel grounded at this point of the cycle, like I know who I am and what I am aiming for. Female aging is often really negatively portrayed, so I like to find some comfort in feeling well at this point of the cycle, imagining that this is how I'll feel at an older age! I'll take whatever I can to reframe aging into something more positive 🙃.

CD 32: Things I’ve cried about

Here's a non-exclusive list of things I've cried about in my luteal & menstrual phase 👇😅:

😭lack of my favourite snacks
😭having to go to the office
😭crowds
😭someone having a party upstairs, minus points if it's a little kid birthday party (sorry!)
😭sad movies and books
😭beautiful movies and books
😭happy endings at movies and books
😭anything animal related
😭having finished my favourite snacks
😭nostalgic shit
😭the state of the world, always
😭having to go grocery shopping

CD33: Into the void

I'm finishing the cycle day illustrations with this mood of waiting for the cycle to end 🥀.

There are times when I feel like my energy is long gone and all I can do is wait for bleed that always feels just around the corner, but never arrives 😴. Then there are other times, when blood surprises me while I'm still rushing to finish up with the tasks of my life👻. Often I'll start bleeding at 3AM and my womb will keep me up (or wake me up!), demanding my presence for this event we've been throwing for already 17 years 🎊! It can feel like time is coming to a halt - and sometimes it's a moment of time I like to be at, while other times, I'd much, much prefer to skip. 😩

The Red School describes the time before bleed as "the void" (I paraphrase): the most vulnerable moment in the cycle, where we can loose the ground beneath our feet; a time of deep, deep darkness, as well as the great unknown; a gap in the fabric of life where spiritual connection can enter.